Category: Friends


Keep walking…

I don’t know why I insist on holding tight to those that are obviously walking around from me.  I was talking to Derry, and the only thing I can come up with is that I am fiercely loyal, and despite a 99% failure rate of reciprocity for said loyalty, I still hope and expect it in return. Why the hell do I do that?

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It’s been a while.  I had / have all these great things I want to write about, but never seem to find the time.  As of this moment, I have 12 minutes before I have to leave to pick Mega Man up.  Let’s see how much I can unload before then…

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Words Fail

    LRRH had her baby this weekend.  At 6:00 PM on Sunday, she welcomed her son, who has yet to be named, into the world.  He came complete with 10 fingers and 10 toes, a headful of jet black, curly hair, and chubby little cheeks.  It was absolutely amazing.

Words fail to express all that I saw and felt during her birth, but this will have to suffice.  If I don't get it out, I may very well explode.  If I could take out a billboard for the entire world to see, I would.  I want the entire world to see what an amazing woman my best friend truly is.  She is astounding.  I love her and her son more than words can ever say. 

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:-(

Nae goes home today.  I keep thinking about sabotaging her so I can hold her hostage, but I know she's got a life, blah blah blah, and that wouldn't be very nice of me…  So I suppose we will leave with time to get her to the airport comfortably.  Blah…

And yes, T-Rex was up all hours of the night again last night.  NO FUN.  He's got an appointment in 2 hours, so hopefully, they can tell us what is going on with our baby.  I thought at first it might be a growth spurt, but now I'm not so sure.  He seems like he's in pain, and the Motrin didn't even make a dent for him.  Last night, he got up at 12-something, but soothed himself back to sleep very quickly.  *big sigh of relief*  At 2:15, he was standing in my room, screaming and crying so hard that he nearly made himself throw up.  I'm not a sound sleeper, so how he made it that far, I am still wondering.  Anywho, I got him calmed down, put him in bed with me, and stroked his man-pretty hair.  He said, "Wanna watch a movie."  We're not big TV-fans in our house, but for all this poor kid's misery, I decided to give in.  He fell asleep before they even got Aladdin on screen, so I guess it wasn't that bad.  He only stirred a few times after that, but I think it's because I was there.  Every time he did stir, he would reach over and stroke my cheek or put his forehead against my face.  Poor baby…  Part of me is glad I don't sleep through things like that, but when it takes at least 30 minutes to get back to sleep, and it's not even like I could get up to pee because it would wake him up, I sort of do wish I could sleep through things like that.  *sigh*  DH is taking him in since his appointment time coincides with Nae's flight, so I won't know for a while what they say…  If they tell me to ride it out, I'm going to throttle someone.  T-Rex is not a child to miss sleep, let alone wake up screaming bloody murder.  He's a sleep-a-holic, and while his Bink now has the tips cut off, when he wakes up, he doesn't even have it anyway, so I don't think it has anything to do with his Bink.  He's gone through growth-spurts before, and they were never this…  intense (ahem) before, either.  He would wake once or twice, but that was it.  Every 90 to 120 minutes, people…  And it takes me at least 30 minutes to get back to sleep each time…  Yeah, not going to "ride that out."  It's not just me, either.  T-Rex is a grumpy little Monster during the day, too.  He's not an unhappy, let alone grumpy child.  He's been more willful lately, but he's 2.5 for crying out loud; I expect him to be more willful.  There's a difference between willfulness and flat-out being disgruntled.  T-Rex is downright unhappy.  So yeah…  tell us something helpful, doc! 

          I'm all for a good debate…  Usually.  What I don't like is when comments that are perhaps meant to be a statement of fact are said in a manner which is hurtful to the other party.  Varying view points are what make the world go round – if I can't find a solution, perhaps you can because you see the problem differently than I do.  What does not sit well with me if when the opposing view points are not said with care, when there is obvious disrespect for the others' views and the lifestyle they lead because of these views…

          It's come to my attention that this election is even more heavily weighted than I initially feared.  It is tearing friends and families apart because in a crisis, everyone wants resolution and when you can't agree about the best course of correction, people obviously become passionate.  Again, not a bad thing in and of itself.  It becomes harmful when our passions lead us to trample on the thoughts and feelings of others.  It becomes harmful when it leads people to assume debasing things about others.  I may not agree with you, nor be able to see where you're coming from and why you feel the way you do, but that doesn't invalidate your feelings.  For me to try to convince you that your thoughts and feelings are invalid is detrimental not only to you, but myself…

          For this reason, I am stepping back.  I'll probably still blog about my political leanings and convictions, but it will no longer be a topic of conversation except amongst a very small, select circle.  Not everyone in the circle will agree, but everyone will respect.  I am hoping this approachwill serve as damage control for myself, as well as those I love…  It's the ties that bind that are most important…  But sometimes it's important to take stock of your differences and evaluate whether or not those differences are stronger than your ties…  And for me, now is not the proper time for that evaluation.

The Return of the Jedi

Only, we're not bad ass enough to be Jedi, we're just gluten-free.  The friend who hasn't yet been pinned with a blog name is getting married next May, as you may recall.  She has also been recently diagnosed as gluten-intolerant.  So today, my friends, we get to set out on a journey to find a GFCF wedding cake.  Thus far, the most encouraging thing we have heard is, "I've never done that before, but I can try."  Here's to trying…

*cheers* 

Oh, and about that blog name…  I'm on it.  She will have one by day's end, I swear!

Happy Birthday!

24 years ago today, my other best friend came into the world.  Happy Birthday, babe!

Stripper

24 years ago today, my other best friend came into the world.  Happy Birthday, babe!

Stripper

While we’re on the subject…

    "Tracy" and I talked again last night.  She called me because she was angry, and at first, she was crying so hard that I thought she was mad at me for blogging about her situation.  Once she calmed down, I figured out that was definitely not the case.  Here's the gist of it…

"You're right.  I've never said anything mean about "Carla" in my blog.  Why would she think that now that we're not friends, I would?  Honestly, that would be the only reason I could see for her reading my blog.  I mean, we're not friends.  She called it off because she was angry.  I even tried contacting her several times in the last few months and she's never even E-mailed me to tell me to leave her alone.  If it doesn't bother her that we're not friends, and she honestly doesn't care about me any more, why IS she reading my blog?  I'm not going to password protect shit because of her!  While I wish she would stop reading, I can at least keep her from commenting by blocking her IP address, and she can read all she damn well wants, but it won't upset me any more.  Now I know why you blog the way you do – I didn't get why you didn't use people's real names, but seriously, this is stupid.  It's MY blog.  MINE.  MY thoughts.  You don't like what's here, stop reading!  MY blog.  Not changing it.  *humph*"

Just like that.  Sort of.  She did help me write that if it make it any better.  So anyway, do you read blogs written by people with whom you are no longer friends*?  Why or why not? 

*We're not talking about strangers, or people you've never met, or blogs you've found because of similar interests, tragedy, etc.  We're ONLY talking about people that you were once friends with, but no longer speak to or have any sort of relationship with any more.

 

Do you read blogs written by people with whom you were once, but are now no longer friends?
( polls)

        So there's this person that I really miss.  Like, I think about them all the time, and what we'd probably be doing or planning to do, the things we'd laugh about, and just what a hole there is without this person…  I can see this goofy grin that they have in my head, and when I hear something that I think we'd have laughed about, it pops into my head…  And there are other people that make think about them all the time, too… 

          And I kinda' feel like it's as simple as a phone call and an apology, even if I don't really feel like I am the one who should make that move.  At this point, the absence is hurting more than "swallowing my pride" and conjuring up that apology would.  If that's what this person needs, I can "take one for the team" for the sake of fixing things.  But then…  Seeing that I sorta' tried that recently with someone else who acted like they very much wanted to have some semblance of a relationship again, and it didn't work out, I'm in the boat I always seem to be in – I ask why I should bother when I know I will just get hurt again…

          So I don't know what to do…  Because I know if I call and they don't answer, I'll be done.  I won't even rationalize enough to think that maybe they were just busy, had their hands full, or didn't hear the phone ring.  And I won't leave a message because then I'll wonder if they're making fun of me, or thinking that I'm pathetic…  And even that's not fair because if I really thought this person was like that, I wouldn't want them back so badly but then, I never thought anything would go down the way it did, especially because this person was involved, so maybe I was wrong about them all along anyway…

          I wonder how they're doing…  I wonder if that *one* thing ever played out, or if they stuck to it and let it go…  I wonder if they think about me, too…  And I wonder if it hurts them…  Not because I want it to, but…  Aw, hell I don't know.