It’s been a rough few days… There has been some good, but overall, I am still at my critical mass point. Tonight there’s been alcohol and pretty much every ounce of my self control not to cry. That whole – tapping-out-your-reserve-every-time -you-say-no thing is definitely coming in to play. I can’t say no to gluten when all my will power is being drained everywhere else. I can’t say no to alcohol when my will power is tapped out.
And…  I don’t sleep in new places. This inn is awesome, but I can’t sleep… and I’m alone, so that’s not helping. I tried headphones, reading, and now this…
Right from the start, you were a thief
You stole my heart
and I your willing victim
I let you see the parts of me
That weren’t  all that pretty
And with every touch
You fixed them
Now, you’ve been talking in your sleep
Oh oh, things you never say to ME
Oh oh, tell me that you’ve had enough
Of out Love
Our Love
Just give me a reason, Just a little bit’s enough
Just a second, we’re not broken Just bent
We can learn to LOVE again
Oh, it’s in the stars,
It’s been written in  the scars on our hearts
We’re NOT broken Just bent
We can learn to love  again.
I’m sorry I don’t understand where all of these is coming from
I thought that we were fine
(Oh, we had everything)
Your head is  running wild again
My dear, WE still have everything
And it’s all in your  MIND
(Yeah, but this is happenin’)
You’ve been having real bad dreams
Oh oh, used to lie so close to me
Oh oh, there’s nothing more than empty sheets
Between our love, our love
Ooooh, our love, our love
I think if I could hit him, I might feel a little better, at least for the moment. And that might even enable me to sleep a bit.
My last bit of self control is melting… If I sleep tonight, it will be because I cried myself there.