Do you ever just want to scream at people until you’re red in the face and feel like you might pass out?  I don’t mean, “Have you ever wanted to go off on someone and rant and rave and let it all out?”  I mean just scream.  No?  Me, neither.

Telling me, through words or actions, that you think I am an idiot for a choice I make isn’t helpful.  If you genuinely cared, you should, at the very least, be willing to discuss it openly and provide facts to back up your position.  When you can’t do those things, and when you refuse to see that my position may have the tiniest shred of validity, we fail to discuss and we commence to argue.  I don’t need to argue.  You have made up your mind, and for the most part, so have I.  Where we differ is that I continue to research.  I continue to look for holes in my plan and issues that may arise with my decision.  I am not accepting what is handed out as the end-all, be-all and going along on my merry little way.  If that’s enough for you, fine.  But don’t try to shove that down my throat and get all pissed when I want more than that to feel comfortable making  a decision, particularly a decision contrary to my previous decision.

It’s really hard to play nice with others when the others feel the need to tell you at every turn that you’re screwing up and that by not doing things their way, you’re doing things wrong.  Unless I ask, I’m not interested in what you think about my way.  If I feel something isn’t working, I have no problem asking trusted peers what has worked for them and what didn’t work for them and why.  If I think something could be going better, I go through the same drill.  I’ve come across a lot of things that way and I am thankful when my friends share.  When I’m not asking, it means what I’m doing is working and I’m just not interested in hearing, and probably not for the first time, about how I could still be doing better.  Who can’t do better?  Really?  Who is so perfect that they can’t possibly improve anywhere?  Perhaps I am at a point where I cannot handle another change.  Perhaps what I am doing now *is* something new and I need time to see how it pans out.  Bottom line: shut it.  If I don’t ask, I don’t care to hear your input.  And if you’re wondering why the venom, it’s not because of something simple.  It’s because I really am tired of being attacked, and not just in my “You’re so sensitive” mind, but genuinely attacked, for choices I did not idly make.  I’m really tired of feeling as though I need to defend myself when I didn’t ask for feedback to begin with.  I’m all grown up and I made this choice, and that’s the end of it.  I will let you know if I open it up for discussion, but until then, pipe down!  The accompanying judgement is damned annoying, too!  Shove it!  It must really be nice to feel as though you’re making all the right decisions.  I don’t feel that way.  Even the things I care about a whole lot and did a butt-ton of research for, I still looking for irrefutable proof that I am doing what is best.  You coming at me and telling me I am an idiot, usually stating things that are either just not true, are not true for my situation, that just further prove my position, or that just don’t apply to the situation does NOT make me want to come sit on your side of the fence.  I don’t talk down to you for sitting on that side, and I would greatly appreciate the same courtesy!  DAMN IT THIS ISN’T THAT HARD!!!

Advertisements