When you push your way into my home, though I have made it clear that this is not a good time, you are showing a lack of respect.

     When you show up several hours after the agreed upon time, after I made room in my day to acommodate you, you are showing a lack of respect.

     When you stay beyond reasonable hours, after my children have gone to bed, and into the wee hours of the morning, though you know I have to get up at the crack of dawn with energetic children, and a long trip ahead, you are showing a lack of respect.

     When you try to pit my husband against me with manipulative language, you are being disrespectful as well as deceitful. 

     We have not spoken in years.  It was presumptuous of you to call me for help as it was.  When I explained why I could not help you at the time, you pushed and pushed.  Help should be given willingly, not grudgingly.  When I did open my door, you walked through it well after the agreed upon time and stayed past midnight.  When did that become acceptable behavior?  When did it become okay to make your problem an issue for someone else?  When did it become okay to blame someone for your shortcomings when they could not or would not help you get out of a mess YOU created?  

     I am just wondering what I missed here.  Everyone but me seems to think that your behavior is acceptable and that I am overlooking your "obvious" respect for me and the way I live my life.  I must have missed something because I would not behave this way toward someone I respected…

   When I should be as giddy as a child on Christmas Eve, I am so furious that I actually contemplated an assault charge.  When I should have been home, playing with my children and spending time with my husband, I was out, avoiding you.  When I should have been free to come home and enjoy my last several hours with my family, I was fuming, wondering what made you think 10, 11, and even 12 AM were suitable hours for you to be in my home.  I will be away from my family for over a week, and when I could have been home getting in my last hours of snuggles and giggles, I was trying to keep my blood from boiling and my head from exploding. 

     We will never be friends.  I don't respect you.  Before I formed an opinion about you, I did every thing I could to keep an open mind and get to know you.  Every encounter I have had with you has made me want to wash my hands of you.  I have never had a pleasant time with you.  I have never had a reasonable conversation with you.  I have no desire whatsoever to be friends with you.   I have no regret that our relationship got off to the start that it did, and no regrets about the way we have progressed in our non-relationship together.  I was perfectly content when there was little to no contact between us and I sincerely hope that after this incident, it goes back to that.

         *Day 89: I am grateful for time away.  My hair is falling out because I am so stressed and I hope that, despite Kili being with me, the time away from pretty much everything that has anything to do with my daily life, will do me some good and allow me to come home feeling refreshed, able to look at things in a different, more productive light, and allow me to once again be the mom I liked being.

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