When I was in high school, I read Waiting for Godot.  Back then, I understood it, but only on a very superficial level.  With all the recent "waiting but not waiting," it has struck me that waiting for a baby to be born is a lot like waiting for G-d.  I don't mean to be blasphemous or anything.  I mean, I'm not trying to insinuate that my child is G-d or G-dlike in any way.  It just seems… odd to me.  Most of my life I can recall waiting for G-d to intervene and save me somehow.  Looking back, I think G-d did step in, though not in the way I was waiting or hoping for.  Because it wasn't what I was expecting, I took it that G-d didn't show.  The more I waited and hoped, the less satisfied I was.  The more I wait and hope for this baby, the more irritated and anxious I become…  And then, as I sat, bouncing energetically on the ball, having a little "pep talk" with Kili, it struck me that babies, like G-d will come into our lives when they are good and ready and not a moment sooner…  And often, not at all in the ways we'd anticipated or hoped for…  But it doesn't make the entrance any less profound or meaningful if we able to recognize it for what it is…  Even if it takes a few years…

So darling daughter, while we will attempt to coerce you tomorrow, should you decide to wait a bit longer, I will do my best to patiently "not wait" and appreciate your debut however and whenever you choose to make it.  While I admit to beig very hopeful that tomorrow's actions bring about your birth, I will not give up if they don't.  I won't stop trying to make your path easier, but I will promise not to get so damned discouraged when what I perceive as encouragement does not yield the results I had hoped for.

*Day 70: I am grateful for the quiet time I am enjoying today thanks to DH.  Love you, babe!

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