Had my 38 week visit today…  Had membranes stripped again, but don't expect ANYTHING to come of it after the rest of the visit.  3-4 cm's dilated, 75% effaced, still contracting regularly, but no baby.  Still showing large leukocytes in urine, but no sign of infection from the lab work, so hey! there's something positive.  Blood pressure 116 / 75 – HIGH for me, which is usually about 80/50, no lie.  Could it be stress?  I fucking wonder…   

Understand I can't stay pregnant forever, but damned if I don't feel like it.  Hurting.  A lot.  Very sleep deprived.  Was told wine is acceptable…  Was also re-told to take Ambien already prescribed, though not necessarily with the wine. 

So tired of hour after hour of contractions that do nothing.  Going on an hour of 3-minute apart contractions AGAIN.  Waiting for Ambien to kick in and knock my ass out.  So ready to just have a baby!  Grateful for the process, but ready to complete the process, too.

*Day 67: I am grateful for a husband who tries so hard to make me feel better even when I am really just insisting on my own misery and thwarting his very well-intended, sweet efforts.  Must remember to do something really nice for him when all this sh*t is over with…

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