I wouldn't willingly let anyone else raise my babies.  It's not that I think we're perfect parents, but we do the things we do because we think it is the best way to raise our children in our circumstances.  I know many parents whom I think are doing a wonderful job, but I think their methods wouldn't be that great for my kids.  I often ask for suggestions when I hit a brick wall or feel as though our current method(s) is/are not working, but for the most part, I believe DH and I are the best parents for Mega Man and T-Rex.  There are many parents whom I admire for the creative disciplining techniques, patience, etc., but overall, I think Mega Man and T-Rex are not too bad off with DH and I as parents, though I am sure they will need extensive therapy after all our attempts to raise perfect children.  *snicker*  Having said that…

When I say a certain behavior is not acceptable in front of my children, it's for a damn good reason.  For DH and I, growing up with alcoholism wasn't exactly pleasant.  It's something we were both very concerned about when we found out Mega Man was on his little way.  Neither of us wanted to repeat the things that we were raised with where alcoholism was concerned.  Because of that, we take a very conservative road with alcohol.  Rarely will you find beer in our refridgerator.  Wine is a bit more common, and even then it is probably less than a once-per-month occurrence.  We do not drink in front of our children.  When they are old enough to understand, we will model and teach moderation, but until then, this is what we are comfortable with.  If we have a gathering and we say, "No alcohol permitted," can you really fault us?  Just because you don't get drunk and stupid doesn't mean someone else won't.  Even if no one did, it's still not a behavior I'd like my children to be exposed to at this time.  We're the parents, it's our choice.  Yes, I am choosing to control that aspect of their lives…  But as parent aka Guardian Supreme, isn't that sort of my right and my duty?  Isn't that part of protecting them from something we perceive to be a threat?  Just beause you don't see it that way, does it give you the right to say we're being paranoid when you've not experienced the things we have?  Wouldn't I be a bad parent if I allowed something to happen simply because I didn't want to offend YOU rather than telling you it was not okay in my home because I felt that was what was best for my children?  Where ,then, is the line between protection and control?

If that's being controlling, then yes, I suppose DH and I are control freaks. I have always seen it as trying to be a good parent, and setting a better standard for my children than was set for me, but obviously I am too biased.  I always thought I was being protective of my children and doing what DH and I thought was best to bring them up to be well-adjusted, happy, healthy, productive individuals, but I guess we're just molding them into little anal-retentive control freaks, just like we are.  I always hoped family and friends who knew me and my upbringing would be proud that I am doing something different, but I guess we've gone too far in trying to make sure that all the people they are exposed to are (9 times out of 10) trying to set the same good example. 

We're not perfect.  Hell, we're not even a dry household…  But we are doing what we feel is best.  It sucks when you feel like no one feels that way but you, but DH and I have the courage of our convictions and we're not about to break the rules to make someone else feel better.  DH's own alcoholic father spends very little time with the children, and has never been alone with them because of the behavioral models we're comfortable with, so it's not as though we pick and choose who must follow the rules and who mustn't.  It's the same for everyone…     

*Day 65:  I am grateful for strength, unrecognized though it may be.  Strength isn't always being able to find the words to express your anger, but knowing when to sit back and keep your mouth shut.

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