Maybe it's the piece of me that wishes I could just be a 1950's housewife…  Maybe it's the piece of me that thinks I can't be something without someone else…  Whatever it is, I seem to have this "bizarre" idea that I am a reflection of my husband.  When we go to a friend's house, and that friend is primarily a friend of DH's through work or wherever, I want to make a good impression.  It's not because I want them to think, "Damn, that guy's wife rocks!"  It's because I want them to think, "Damn, that guy's whole family is pretty awesome!"  When things like a Super Bowl party come up and it's not really my thing, I still try.  Today, I made chili cheese dip and potato salad.  While those are things I like, they certainly wouldn't have been made without the Super Bowl party hosted by DH's friend.  It was hugely inconvenient, and I am not feeling 100% today.  There will be no other kids at the event, and this is not a kid-friendly house.  They are "attempting" to make gluten-free food for me, so I can either risk it and potentially wind up sick, or seem like I am being rude if I don't try anything…  I couldn't care less about football.  I will know only my husband and his friend and girlfriend, which always makes me feel weird.  Do I want to go?  No.  Will I put my best foot forward and put on a happy face?  Of course.  Why?  Because I don't want anyone to think anything negative about DH…  Does that make sense?  Am I crazy? 

*Day 39: I am grateful for up-coming maternity leave!!!

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