We totally went in and stuck to our guns.  For that, I am very proud of us.  I have never been good at avoiding temptation and true to form, I took the 2007 V-8 4×4 Dodge Durango home last night for a 24-hour test drive, though I knew we were heavily leaning toward a negative vote on keeping it.  After researching what it would do to our insurance (a monthly increase in cost of $28.00 with the same coverage criteria), what our interest was roughly sitting at (because thanks to the Patriot Act, they can't tell you until you're signing), and what they were giving us for our trade-in (about $7,000.00), we just couldn't do it.  After purchasing the extended warranty and gap coverage (which was NOT an option considering we were adding $8700 in negative equity to our loan after our trade-in!), we would essentially be taking on the same loan we did 2.5 years ago.  Our payments would be right at $409.00, which is only $20.00 less than what we're paying now.  While I am a conservative driver for the most part, and I don't go many places, I know that the V-8 engine alone would more than eat that $20.00 "savings" per month, and nevermind the increase in insurance.  Right now, if we continue to pay the little extra we have been, we'll have this loan paid off by November 2011, rather than April 2012 when it matures.  It sucks and we're nailed to the damn wall, but it's been working.  If I can't pay the extra one month, then it's no big deal.  But we were only willing to tighten down so much if we knew it meant we were saving on some of the interest in the long run.  If we take out this new 6 year loan, we won't be doing that any more and we'll just be tightening down because Miss Vanity doesn't think a mini-van at the tender age of 22 (now I'm 24) is cool…


I am such an asshole.  I don't even have a right to BE upset.  I'm 24 and I drive a mini van.  Big fucking deal.  There are people who would kill for reliable transportation so they could finally keep a job, let alone having 2 vehicles.  There are people who would kill to have the credit good enough to even have the option to assume $8700 in negative equity, and here I am turning my nose us.  So I drive a mini van…  Who cares?  It keeps my babies safe, and gets us from Point A to B without breaking down in between.  It's half-way paid for, and still under the extended warranty we also had the foresight and financial means to pay for…  

…I haven't had a rapid cycle in a few months, but I think this was enough to kick one off.  Yesterday I was 8-kinds of manic-crazy (and no, I don't just mean excited by the prospect of getting my dream truck) and today , I haven't even gotten dressed.  I thought I'd take the kids to the mall to play at the indoor playground and drive the truck once more before taking it back (I can't take it back until DH gets home, or believe me, it would already be back on the lot!), but I haven't even been able to open the blinds to look at that damn truck…  If I feel this bad, I know I'd feel even worse if I kept pushing and we had wound up buying the damn thing…  I feel incredibly selfish, unworthy, and very small…  I shouldn't even care that I'm driving a mini-van at 24…  I shouldn't.  But that reality check is bouncing, and I do.  I do care.  Even when we first bought it, we knew it was the best bet even though it wasn't necessarily what either of us wanted.  Between fuel economy, passenger capacity, roll tendency/overall safety, and bang for the buck, it was truly the best thing we could do…  Which is why we did it, despite both of us wanting an SUV.  So really, I need to re-remind myself that it was a responsible decision based on the overall needs of our family and the disadvantages versus the advantages.  There will be plenty of time for stupid trucks that we had to sacrifice everything else for just to drive once a week…

Quit your bitching, Heather! 

***

They like to get you in a compromising position
They like to get you there and smile in your face
They think, they're so cute when they got you in that condition
Well I think, it's a total disgrace

I fight authority, authority always wins
I fight authority, authority always wins
I been doing it since I was a young kid
I've come out grinnin'
I fight authority, authority always wins

So I call up my preacher
I say: gimme strength for round 5
He said: you don't need no strength, you need to grow up, son
I said: growing up leads to growing old and then to dying,
And dying to me don't sound like all that much fun

I fight authority, authority always wins
I fight authority, authority always wins
I been doing it since I was a young kid
I've come out grinnin'
I fight authority, authority always wins

I fight authority, authority always wins
I fight authority, authority always wins
I been doing it since I was a young kid
I've come out grinnin'
I fight authority, authority always wins

Oh no
Oh no
I fight authority, authority always wins

I fight authority, authority always wins
I fight authority, authority always wins
I been doing it since I was a young kid
I've come out grinnin'
I fight authority, authority always wins
I fight authority, authority always wins
I fight authority, authority always wins
I been doing it since I was a young kid
I've come out grinnin'
I fight authority, authority always wins

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