I have always hated the "sins of the father" thing. I don't think it's fair for children to be punished for their parents' wrongs. I guess, though, in some cases, that's sort of unavoidable.


If I'm in a playgroup with Nae, LRRH, "Mom I just made up #1," and "Mom I just made up #2," and no one enjoys the company of MIJMU2, it seems okay that we remove her from our playgroup. But what if that's her only out? What if that's the only time her kid(s) gets interaction with his/her peers. While we may not enjoy each other's company, our kids might get along great. Is that fair for the three of us to say, "Hey, sorry. You're no longer welcome"? It's not her kid(s)' fault that there is a personality clash with their mom. The kid might be sweet as can be. Could the mom find other playgroups? Maybe… But maybe now she's just afraid to even try…

In other cases, I think the kid is screwed. If one of your parents is a convicted child molester/abuser, you can bet my kids will never have anything to do with you or your kids. While children are taken in most of those cases, often, they are given back. In my eyes, it might be the best thing for the kids to remain with other families, not only to prevent further ostracizing events, but also to prevent future attacks on them. I realize that's extreme, but really, that's probably about the only time I think it's okay to make a kid "suffer" for their parents' wrongs. And at that point, I don't see it as suffering. I am sure foster care and adoptions later in life aren't exactly easy, but it has to be better than getting your ass kicked or being touched all the time, right?

SAHMs are often called out as being snobby and elitist. When I first started venturing out with Mega Man, I thought that was true. I took him to the park across the street a few times and tried talking to the moms there only to be completely snubbed and the second time, they actually moved to another bench when I sat at the end. Now, again, maybe something was going on. Maybe it was an emotional day or they were having a private conversation and it just wasn't a good time, but I'm a very shy person when I'm around people I don't know. I took that very hard. It was like pulling teeth to get me to venture out again.

Finally, after Bear was born, I tried again because I thought they needed it, regardless of my shyness. I had to suck it up, take one for the team, and do what was needed for the greater good, blah blah blah. It worked… For a while. I won't say anything else about that, but once again, it didn't work out. An entire group decided me and my babies were not welcome. It's been hell in this house ever since. It's been a while and Mega still asks me where so-and-so is and when we will see hin/her again. I tell him they moved… I can't bring myself to say, "Mommy did something they didn't like, so they kicked us out." I don't think it's fair, not only to me as a person, but to me as his mother. I can't stand to think he'd look at me every day and blame me for him not having any buddies to hang out with. Plus, you know me – it takes two to tango. Nothing is ever the fault of one person (short of like, you know, murder and rape and stuff). So, I tell him they moved… And he gives me this ridiculously mature look of incredulity. It breaks my heart… And when a week went by without him asking, I thought I could finally stop racking my brain and searching my heart to see if I honestly did all I could to save it, and then WHAMMO! He asked again… And now I don't know what the hell to do. My babies mean every thing to me, and I miss seeing them run around and have a good, safe, carefree time with children their own ages. I miss hearing them relay stories about their time spent with those friends. I miss seeing Mega's eyes light up when I told him we were going to see so-and-so… Where I used to feel that I did all I could to "redeem myself" and make things right, I can't help but feel, now, as though I should have and should now do more. I don't know what the "more" is,and I honestly don't think it would be received, but wouldn't you do anything for your children?

What wouldn't I do for my children?

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