I have a horrible temper.  Seriously.  I could probably put John McEnroe to shame.  I know that.  *shrug*  It's a working process for me.  I can't blink my eyes and make it go away or just wriggle my nose and give my temperment a make-over.  I've gotten better.  It takes more to get my goat now than it did a year ago, two years ago, and during the scary times 4+ years ago.  If we start off having a conversation that turns to debate or into a conflict, I am much better about keeping my voice level, my body language doesn't become hostile, and I think before speaking.  However, if and when the situation continues to escalate, my temper gets harder to rein in, I walk away.  If you follow me, or keep pressing the issue…  I usually go off.  I'll tell you exactly what is on my mind, which is usually clouded by my anger, rather than rationality, objectivity, or fairness.  Rather than do that (and you can call me selfish), I will let you know when I've calmed and collected myself enough to resume our little fray.  May be it's not the best system, but it's much better than the way I used to be, and I am still working on just not getting that angry.  The rational part of my mind knows it's silly, but there seems to be a switch that I haven't found yet that activates the anger…  Since I can't seem to find it, others find it for me.  I don't like it – that's why I am working on it.  *shrug*  I guess this lifetime certainly won't end in achieving Nirvana, eh?

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