This is why I struggle.  Things like this…  Are you fucking kidding me? 

And you wonder why I can’t believe in G-d.  What G-d would continue to give children to people like this when so many others would give anything for a child, or another child?  What G-d would subject innocents to parents like this?  I don’t fucking get it…  I just don’t get it… 

I know, I know.  Who am I to judge?  For one, not a coke whore.  For two, not someone who allows their parents to pay my rent – not just every now and then or when I get stuck, but for like, you know, years…  I could go on, but there’s no point.  I try not to judge, truly I do.  Despite my snark and apparent anger at the world, I really do try not to carry too many chips on my shoulder or make snap judgements about people.  But seriously?  Seriously?!  What kind of cruel joke is this?  I shake with rage and cry because it pisses me off.  It pisses me off that it’s not me or a friend, that people still cater to them and help them out, the whole situation just breaks my heart and makes me want to hurt them…  badly.  I’m going to go cry myself to sleep now.  I wasn’t congested enough from my allergies, so all this crying should work wonders.

I don’t know what I did – either I didn’t fuck up enough, or I fucked up too much…

"Don’t tell me I haven’t been good to you.  Don’t tell me I have never been there for you.  Don’t tell me why nothing is good enough…"

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