The past few months have entailed a lot of evaluation and change, but perhaps not enough.  Perhaps my evaluation process was not thorough enough.  Perhaps, because of my fear of being alone, I overlooked some things that should not have been overlooked, or minimized things that should not have been minimized.  Perhaps, just perhaps, I should have walked away from more than those 2 folks…

          It has never bothered me that my friends are so diverse.  In fact, it has made me keep an open mind, open heart, and in some cases, opened my eyes a bit more to a different way of thinking or doing.  For the most part, we all agree on the things most important to us, so there has never been a problem.  We became friends at some point, so there had to be some common, uniting ground.

          What happens when that uniting ground is no longer the ground you tread? 

          In some cases, I think the friendship or relationship can survive.  Depending on the circumstance, it may not change things at all.  For instance, getting married and having a single best friend doesn’t automatically mean your friend can no longer relate to you.  Certainly things may change, but most friendships can survive this sort of change.

          Now let’s say it is more than that.  Let’s say one friend gets married, has a child or children, stays home to raise her children, and is content with her life’s path.  The other friend is not married, works 2 jobs, and is very unsure about her life’s path.  What happens then? 

          For me, there still shouldn’t be a problem…  Until one person becomes critical or unsupportive of the other’s choices.  When we belittle or condescend to our "friend" for the choices they have made, or make them feel otherwise inferior for their chosen path, there is a problem.  There is a difference between saying, "Hey, I think you screwed up back there," and "Well, not everyone has the luxury of staying home like you, so you can’t say anything about it."  Then again, maybe it’s just the over-sensitive part of me getting too worked up again…

          So where is the line?  When do birds of a feather really kick in?  Again, you have to have some common ground to become friends, but when that is no longer there, how long do you hang on?  I have never been one to keep people around that made me feel bad.  When I was younger, I would go for revenge, and then walk away.  As I got older, I just walked away.  Once the reality of moving every 3 to 4 years kicked in, I became more and more hesitant to walk away from people…  I fought to keep them when I shouldn’t have.  Now I am stuck…  Do I stay or do I go?

          How far do you think the saying, "Birds of a feather flock together," goes?  Why? 

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