I wish I could say I was up with the boys all night.  At least I know how to deal with them, and then we’re all tired the next day.  When I am plagued by nightmares and restlessness, it’s not quite the same.

          At first, I just couldn’t get comfortable.  It was too warm upstairs again, despite the thermostat being the at the same setting for about 2 months now.  I even turned on the oscillating fan and it didn’t seem to help much.  I don’t know about you, but I seem to have nightmares when I am hot.  I think that was another thing keeping me awake – the fear of bad dreams. 

          I have been wondering now just where the line is between nightmares and night terrors.  After checking out several sites, I think I have a few here and there, but most are still run of the mill nightmares.  I’d say last night was a possibility for night terrors.  Usually, when I have a nightmare, I wake up, remind myself that I am safe and that it was just a dream.  I shake it off and go right back to sleep.  Last night…  Not so much.

          Around 3-something this morning, I felt like I was paralyzed.  I couldn’t move or even open my eyes – almost like someone was blindfolding me and holding me down.  I wanted to scream, but I couldn’t because of that feeling of paralysis…  It felt like an eternity, but I am sure it was no more than a few minutes – I couldn’t even turn my head to see the clock, though.  After that, I didn’t try to go back to sleep.  I just got up and started looking things up on the internet – like the difference between nightmares and night terrors.  Then I got some tea and snuggled in to bed again – once the light of dawn started filtering into my room and I could turn the light off again without being in the dark.

          Did I ever mention that I am afraid of the dark?  Terrified.  If DH and I are in the hall, walking toward our bedroom, and he turns the light off before he turns another one on, I freeze.  I hate it.  I just suddenly feel vulnerable, and surrounded.  No bueno.

          *sigh*

          What is the worst nightmare you’ve ever had?

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