I crashed pretty hard today.  I thought I had eaten enough, but I guess I just waited too long to do it.  I am so thankful my neighbor was home and he came right over.  He got me some juice and sat with the boys until I stopped shaking and got past the, "I’m going to pass out" stage.  No matter how many times that happens, it’s scary.  It hits me so fast.  Even though I know what’s going on and I know how to fix it, it’s scary.  Waiting that 10, 15, 20 minutes for the honey, juice, candy, whatever to kick in is sheer agony.  It always feel like an eternity.  I would swear that I sat in the corner of my living room for an hour today, but I know it wasn’t more than 20-30 minutes.  I know it didn’t take me 2 hours to crawl to the diaper bag to find my cell phone, either.  It’s scary…

          My goal for tomorrow is to have a glass of water every hour, and a small snack with it.  I tried forcing myself to eat today and it just doesn’t work.  I had a handful (and if you know me, you know only like 8 Cheerio’s fit in my small hands) of cereal around 7:30 this morning, and then I didn’t eat until noon.  I had an egg and some potatoes, but a portion adequate for Skeeter because after that, I was ready to throw up.  I didn’t eat again until almost 6.  I ate less than half a pork chop (and what was gone of that I even shared with Mega), a small scoop of rice, and a small spoonful of green beans.  I finished the night with a brownie and small glass of milk and already, I am shaking.  I am munching on graham crackers because seriously, everything else just makes me want to vomit.  I know I feel worse when I don’t eat, but I have issues with food already.  My mom used to tell me, "Food is your friend."  Seriously.  I can’t get to a point where food makes me want to up-chuck just thinking about it, you know? 

          Tomorrow I can’t let my blood sugar drop.  It’s scary for me, dangerous for me, and dangerous for the boys and scary for them, too.  Mega didn’t see it happen today – he was strapped in at the table and I was in a corner of the living room where he couldn’t see me, but I could keep an eye on him and Skeeter (who was also strapped in to the high chair).  Tomorrow I will eat regularly, and drink plenty of water to help flush the damn ketones out of my system – those certain aren’t helping.  When I tested today, they were on the lighter end of the spectrum for moderate levels, so that’s good.  If you eat and drink enough, it should only take 2-3 days to get back to trace levels, and that’s what I plan to do!  A lowered blood pH is not my idea of a good time…

          When DH gets home, I will talk to my doctors about another diabetes test.  *shiver*  Yikes… 

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