I promised myself I wouldn’t bring it up again unless you did first.  But then when you talk the way you do, it makes me wonder if perhaps you are waiting for me to bring it up.  I am toying with the idea of bringing it up, but try as I may, there just isn’t a "casual" or off-hand way to do it.


          It’s so hard to even approach because it means heartbreak for someone one way or the other.  But the way I see it, one path is certainly the lessor of two evils.  But then again, it’s not all about me.  It involves quite a few people, actually.  And while it seems as though all parties could be satisfied, who knows?  Maybe the quiet path is the right path, and my judgement is clouded by my own wants.  I try to be impartial and put myself on the other side…  Even though, I know it would be hard, and I think I would still want the outcome I do from this side, but who knows?

          I feel wrong not to speak up.  I have never been one to shy away from things I want, but this is different.  I want it so bad, but then I don’t.  I don’t because I know what it means for you.  But then I want it because I do know what it means for you at the same time.  It just…  itches not to say it!

          I’ll sleep on it.  If I still itch tomorrow, perhaps I will bring it up as gently as I can.  If it doesn’t itch any more, I will know it was just a manic-inspired impulse and my original idea was the best idea – to leave it alone unless you bring it up.