So finances are kicking our asses right now.  I hate that.  I would be more upset except that we’re debt free with the exception of a car loan that is ahead of the scheduled payments…  Starting out at $429.00 per month, even paying $450.00 helped a bit, and the longer we paid it, the more it helped.  Still, having to put groceries on a credit card, even when you know you’ll make up for it next month, blows.

          I hate feeling like I can’t go anywhere or do anything because in some way, shape, or form, it’s going to cost us money.  Even driving to a free park uses gas, which, as we’re all painfully aware, costs mucho dinero these days.  Even filling up the car rather than the van is painful.

          I am looking forward to the day when money isn’t one of the top 3 considerations for any decision we make or do not make.  It sucks knowing that we could provide for another child but that adoption is out simply because of the financial burden it would place on our family.  It sucks knowing I have family just a few hours away but that we won’t see much of them because the fuel cost alone is too great at the moment.      

          Anyway, this afternoon I have a meeting with a potential client and I am hoping things go well.  If we mesh well and this woman picks me, and things go well with her birth, she will be my final certification birth.  I can submit my forms as soon as I get my evaluations back, and be certified within 2 months of sending in my materials…  It will be nice to bring in some income doing something I love so much, while not taking too much time away from the babes.  I miss them terribly, even in the middle of the action!  I keep thinking about fair fees and I can’t seem to find a comfortable scale.  I am hoping that time will give me some insight into what people are willing to pay for an invaluable experience, such as a better birth.  Then again, I am a bit biased.  Does it show?  It’s not that I want to "get rich" doing this, but it will certainly ease some of the strain, you know?

          And while I am trying not to think about it too much, I am not looking forward to Friday…  Or Saturday, for that matter.      

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