My OB appointment was today.  If you don’t want to read about bodily fluids and nether regions, skip it.

          I haven’t not been on my period for about 4 months now.  Very, very annoying, not to mention not terribly convenient.  Having to buy tampons/pads every 3-4 weeks is not my favorite way to spend money.  So, I finally decided that after 3 months of the new pill, things should have settled down.  When they didn’t I made my OB appointment.

          My lovely midwife asked me a few questions and then agreed that it was time to change my pill.  Which sucks for a number of reasons.  One: I can’t take tri-cyclenes because they seriously screw with manic-depressives and people with other bi-polar disorders.  Two: I have tried about 6-8 other types of birth control with the same result – never-ending periods.  I am on the last options here, folks.  And the type I am on is supposed to be one of the best for people with my weird body chemistry.  So yeah…  As we were about to start discussing what other options I had (depo, which even my midwives aren’t too fond of, IUD, etc.), she thought to ask me another question. 

          "How heavy are we talking here?  Spotting, right?"

          "No, more like third to fourth day flow."


          "Bright red."

          "Okay, I don’t think that’s your pill."

          Oh shit.

          "So, let’s have a look after all!"

          My favorite thing!

          After some poking and prodding, and some more uncomfortable manuevers in my nether regions, she said there wasn’t anything immediately concerning, slides looked good.  So if everything looks good…  why am I here again?

          "I’d like to try something to see if maybe there is just an irritant in your uterus.  Sometimes it’s just a simple little polyp, but it may be something like fibroids or uterine cancer.  I want you to take ———- and after it works it’s magic, come back for a pelvic ultrasound."


            "Super.  Just how I wanted to spend the next 10 days."

          "It does have one nasty side effect."

          "Oh yeah?"

          "It may make you a tiny bit…"

          "Crampy?  Tired?  Achey?"

          "More like a heinous bitch."

          "Well, now I have an excuse."

          So yeah…  I get to take this pill, have yet another horrendous period in the hopes that it will flush everything out and I can start with a clean uterus, and then I get to have a pelvic ultrasound…  Followed by another PAP to make sure my cervix is still free of abnormal cells.

          While I am sooo tempted not to do anything…  While I want to tell them to leave me and my who-ha alone…  I know I have to do this, this crap.  I know I have to let them fix it.  Invasive and de-humanizing as it may seem, I have to do it.  In the off chance that something is truly wrong – like uterine cancer, I can’t let it eat me up and make me miss out on my boys’ lives.  While I am hoping it is truly something simple, there are very few things that would cause uncontrolled bleeding…  But let’s hope that for once, just once, it is something minor, easily fixed, and that doesn’t rear it’s ugly head after it’s been treated.

          If no one ever comes near my who-ha again, I wouldn’t mind.