*Some names have been withheld to protect the stupid*

Dear (Maker of the Entertainment Center I Recently Purchased),

     I had planned to send this to you last night, but unfortunately, I was waiting for my hands to stop throbbing and my head to stop swimming.  I consider myself to be a pretty handy example of the female species.  I have never been one to ask for help right off the bat because, nine times out of ten, with instructions and the proper tools, I can do just about anything by myself.  However, I found your product to be beyond maddening.  Do you really need 100 screws and nails for an entertainment center?  We’re not talking about a wall unit, or anything fancy.  This is a corner model, so it’s relatively small.  Not to mention that of those 100+ screws and nails, there are 10 different types that you threw all together in the same bag.  I’m not dense.  I can see the subtle differences, but you try keeping over screws and nails in neat little piles to keep them straight.  I had to remove 6 screws to find 1 that was the wrong type and was too short to use in the place I needed it.  Then there are your little "hidden connectors."  Who the hell put this together for you?  I have small hands and I couldn’t get two of the hidden connectors to screw in to the wood because I couldn’t even get my hands in there to turn the screw!  Are you kidding me?  Do you have some of Santa’s elves on loan to assemble your products?  It took me just over 2 hours to put this thing together…  It took me 15 minutes to put together a crib without instructions, on my own, the very first time.  And this took 2 hours…  TWO HOURS.  Not to mention that my hands, BOTH OF THEM, are heavily blistered and still throbbing the next day.  While I enjoy the look of the finished product, I am left wondering about the stability since half the screws are not in.  I also will not be purchasing any of your other products as I am terrified of the time it will take, the screws I might confuse, and what shape my hands will be in when all is said and done.

Sincerely,

     – Blistered B*tch

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