Category: Uncategorized


Dearest Dizzle

My Dearest Dizzle…

The last 48 hours have probably been the most nerve-wracking of my life…  I kept thinking that something worse was going to happen, and we were going to lose you…  That you wouldn’t stop seizing and you would die…  It made my heart skip beats and I couldn’t breathe…  I kept waiting to lose all control and just weep and rock you.  I wanted so badly to fix this…  this THING that was happening to you.  I wanted to take it all away and just let you be a toddler.  I didn’t want to think about making decisions about which tests would be best for you, and what medications we were okay with.  I wanted to fix it for you, but I wanted to fix it for me, too. 

 

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September OUG Wrap-Up

Goal? Obliterated… and not in the good way.  I gained weight. View full article »

*wringing hands*

I am nervous about tomorrow. I just want them to find *something* so this doesn’t keep happening. I want it to be minor, like a supplement imbalance or a hormonal thing. I don’t want it to be what everyone thinks it is. I don’t have time for that crap. ;-)

Oh, and Dakota is gone…

Long story short, Dakota was stolen from our backyard…  In broad day light.

We have a new puppy named Shelby that my brother-in-law procured for me, for free.  She is amazing and full of puppy-life. 

GO AWAY

I am soooo glad I had 3 glasses of wine before I saw that…  What the fuck?  SRSLY?

Wailing Wall…

If you haven’t seen or read “The Secret Life of Bees,” you may not get it. I think I need May’s Wailing Wall…

Since I can’t have one, I am going to stick my little post-its right here. Mmkay?



4 Years…


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So I knew the day was going to suck, but I really had no idea just how much it really could suck.  How much wood would a woodchuck suck if a woodchuck could suck wood kinda suck…

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Yucky Weather = Yucky Mommy

It's been a very dreary few days.  Mega started a Transitional Kindergarten program.  He misses the cut off for Kindergarten by fewer than 60 days.  I wanted to make sure he would truly be ready for Kindergarten since he will be among the oldest kids in school as he progresses through the years.

I started working 3 days a week.  We need the money, and it's good to have adult conversation.  I can take the kids with me, still doula, and pick Mega up from school, so it's a pretty sweet arrangement.

Kili is gi-normous.  She was in today and is in the 75 – 85th percentile for weight, height, and head circumference.  Home girl is a hoss!  At least she's proportionate.  ;-)

T-Rex had his labs drawn for the egg allergy test.  We should know by the start of next week whether or not to keep eggs out of his diet.  *sigh*  It would be nice to know, but it would REALLY limit his food choices.  He's getting better about trying new things, but he is still a 3 year old.  He loves most veggies, but even fruits seem to put him off sometimes.  I think he's like me in that the textures kill him.  *snicker*  He doesn't like mushy stuff.  He will KILL some cucumber salad, 3 bean salad, or grilled veggies, though!  I'm getting better about making things and not just tossing something on the table every night.  It's not easy when I am trying to accomodate T-Rex and I without making DH and Mega's diet the same.  I would, but we just can't afford it.  

We're still sharing a single vehicle.  I am back to a pretty nasty pain level again, so it sucks that DH can't get home early enough for me to sneak in some PT appointments.  DH is usually done by 3, but his buddy doesn't wrap up classes until 4:00.  By the time he gets home, the office is closed.  If DH took the car one day, we might swing it, but we all know that would be the day he gets stuck at work, or held up in traffic and I'd miss my appointment anyway.  

Speaking of pain…  I considered going back to Prime just so we wouldn't have to pay for my care any more.  I know PT wouldn't be offered, let alone covered.  They would send me home with pain meds and call it a day…  But the way I have been feeling lately, I am not so sure I wouldn't mind that "solution."  Is my long-term goal just to fix the source of the pain and be overall "well"?  OF COURSE!  Would it be nice to be pain-free in the short-term until I could find a way to fund my long-term goal?  Abso-friggin-lutely.  *sigh*

*Day 93: I am grateful for a pediatrician who is supportive of my choice not to vaccinate my daughter.  Not only was she supportive, but encouraging and reaffirming that for our particular family, the choice not to vaccinate is a good one.  While we COULD vaccinate and be okay, if we don't, we have one less thing to look back at and wonder if we didn't do more harm than good. 

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