SFS Part II

          I thought the comment warranted a response, but I hate to reply in the comments, so here goes. 

what about those friends you've pushed away for no rhyme or reason, and they just have to take it because you are who you are? when you're the one to bolt.

          Interesting you should ask that.  I think people, like The Force, don't always reveal their reasons.  Perhaps you think *I* or whomever you may be referring to "bolted" for no reason, but I don't think any of us do anything "for no reason."  Maybe we're acting on an impulse even we don't understand, or some sub-conscious thought that we haven't even fully formed.  So, first, I don't think anyone bolts without a reason.  It might not be a reason you understand or agree with, but a reason exists.

          Second, if you know that's the type of person I am, you had to get to know me and decide to stay long enough to figure that out.  From there, you have your own threshold: how long will you hold on and how much will you do to try to keep me corralled before calling it quits?  If you did every thing you thought you could to maintain a healthy relationship, it's on me.  If you gave up the first time I tried to make a run for it, and you truly valued our relationship, though you knew that's the "type of person" I was, some of it is on you.  You can't cage something that doesn't want to be caged.  A zoo animal might be contained, but it's still a wild animal.  It's still feral.  A runner is still a runner.  There's not much you can do about it beyond doing what you can to make me feel safe with you.  Unfortunately, runners hurt people.  We don't mean to – we're running because we think it's protecting not only ourselves, but you.  We think if we leave now, neither of us will get hurt.  Like I said, perhaps not a reason you understand or agree with, but something happened to make me run before, and now, that reason makes all the sense in the world to me. 

          I've "lost" friends.  If it's someone I truly wanted to be around and have in my life, I reached back out.  It wasn't easy because I am a very proud person, but if it was something I truly wanted, I did it.  The worst that can happen is you get your hand smacked away.  It stings, but you get over it.  If you don't extend the hand, there's always the "What if…?" thought.  I don't like the doubts, so I go until I can't go any more.  Sometimes people I have given up on have come back to me and because we're different people now, things turned out quite nicely.  Some people you can never get back…  But there's a reason for that, too. 

Deja !STALKER! vu

          I noticed yesterday that I got about 30 hits from my Simma Down post, but when I went to watch the video, ’cause it’s too funny and never gets old, it wasn’t there any more.  I then went on a crusade to find the same video (found it, so fear not!) and replace the video.  So this morning I logged back in to see if, perhaps, my happy littler searchers had found better results since I replaced the video and what do you know?  I either have 2 stalkers, and meh, me all know how unlikely that would be, or my previous net-stalker is at it again!  I’m back up to quadruple digit hits!  They are apparently searching with the help of Google through my site, and their seach terms are pretty narrow, so it appears to be someone who reads me fairly regularly.  If I wasn’t so creeped out, I’d be flattered.  I’m only creeped out because of the search terms…  Nothing pedophilia-related, thank The Force, like I’ve gotten in the past, but still…  It makes me feel as though I’ve not been as careful as ‘hiding’ our identities as I had previously thought and makes me think that I need to comb my entire blog for slip-ups, etc.

     Thoughts?  Suggestions?  Witness protection program?   

Pissing people off is great…

          For my site counters.  Ha ha ha!  The more inflammatory the topic, the higher my numbers go.  I have gotten over 200 hits on my circumcision post alone.  I’ve gotten a few nasty-grams regarding my "narrow-mindedness" on the topic, as well.  One women wrote that I must be completely religiously ignorant and equated me to the Anti-Christ.  In response, I pointed out that the research I cited (the AAP site) clearly states the only reasons they see fit for circumcision are religious and perhaps cultural.  If I didn’t feel that way, I wouldn’t have used that site to support my argument.  I thought the Anti-Christ metaphor was a bit over the top, but each to his own, I suppose.

          The "Coercion" post had a similar response in terms of hate-mail, though not in numerical response.  It seems to me that a lot of people must feel incredibly guilty if they feel the need to attack a stranger because I feel that ultimately your actions are your responsibility (again, with few exceptions).  I always love a poorly written nasty-gram.  It just makes me snicker…

          I guess this means I need to write about how I feel more often!  It’s amazing to me that people think I am narrow-minded and conservative…  Yet I support gay marriage and am VERY pro-choice…  Not typical narrow-minded conservative views, but whatever.  Ignorance is bliss for some people!

Grief Archives

          Every now and then, I get an E-mail asking about Gram.  I started this blog before Gram passed, so I have added some posts from my old blog to give you a more complete picture.  If you’re also curious, you can click the "Grief" category on the right and scroll down to the bottom.  Read up and you’ll get every thing I have written on the subject, including the date it was originally written, so you can see how things progressed (or didn’t).  Just thought I’d point that out…

One of the better posts

My Favorite Things…

          An earlier E-mail to Shan:

          "I see you were tagged by the same person I was – she has a very limited vocabulary and tagged me with just about the same phrases.  Fun, eh?

I must say one of my favorite things is people like that.  ‘I’m going to pretend to know you based on your blog, judge you, and then anonymously post my thoughts about you.’  Being a badass on the internet is about as cool as microwaving hamsters.  ‘Here’s your sign.’"

And I must say, I agree wholeheartedly with Shan’s response.

And you wonder why I love Shannon.  Hee hee.

“Amistad” E-mails – UPDATED

These are some of my favorite excerpts from some of the anonymous E-mails I received following the posting of "Amistad."  Most were poorly written personal attacks, but there were a few that were waiting for me this morning that were not.  I have posted pieces of both.  Nothing has been changed except mis-spelled words…  Because I am OCD like that.  Poor grammar, subject-noun agreement, etc., has been left in tact.